It is no secret that the past 3 months have been quite a challenge for me. The end of the pregnancy with Nathan indeed was a challenge for me. It was a challenge physically....but it was even harder emotionally and spiritually. But you know what, it has been my choice to let my heart and mind react the way that it has. Nothing that I went through these past two months was anything to big for God....and HE understood everything I went through even when I felt no-one else did. HE was with me every step of the way even when I was the one WHO DECIDED to focus on my circumstances rather than on the LORD. Do you ever stop and think...when we are unhappy or worried or fretting over something.....most of the time it is because we have taken our eyes off the the Lord and put them on ourselves or the circumstances rather than HIM. Or that we have not given that specific thing or circumstance to the Lord. The Lord has been so good a gracious to me...more than I could ever deserve. Today I have just really felt like the Lord has been impressing some things on my heart...and I am ready to give them to him FULLY. That is not always an easy thing to do. But as long as I try to carry burdens on my own....that is what they will be....my own. And it is so very true that our burdens are lifted at Calvary.I was talking to a friend today and she was telling me about another family we know who is facing some major struggles.....it really made me stop and think how blessed I truly am. Yes these past months have been a struggle in many ways for me....and the Lord knows my heart. But instead of focusing on circumstances.....I need to focus fully on HIM. I have yet to thank the Lord for these past 3 months of basically having to stay home and not do much. And that was wrong of me. But you know...I am now soooo very thankful for everyone of those days....shame on me for not being thankful. I want the Lord to use me to be all that I can be for his glory. I am ready to strengthen my relationship with the Lord daily. I am ready to be focused on him and not circumstances. Thank you Lord for speaking to my heart these past couple days....thank you Lord for being a forgiving God....thank you Lord for loving me when I have not been as loving in return....thank you Lord for my salvation even during times when I have not walked as I should....thank you Lord for giving your life for a sinner like me. I want to be one that when I see the Lord he says Well done that good and faithful servant. I saw this today and it really spoke to my heart.
Father above it is my desire,
To know You and love You more.
All of my days I want to serve You,
It's You I want to live for.
To know You and love You more.
All of my days I want to serve You,
It's You I want to live for.
You are the reason that I live,
Each day is a gift from You.
So Father it is my heart's desire,
To serve You in all I do.
Each day is a gift from You.
So Father it is my heart's desire,
To serve You in all I do.
Lord I surrender my heart and my soul,
Let Thy will be done.
I'm here for You Father, please use me,
To win hearts one by one.
Let Thy will be done.
I'm here for You Father, please use me,
To win hearts one by one.
I'll shout to the world that You are my God,
Ashamed I will never be.
I'll live my life so that others can see,
That You are living in me.
Ashamed I will never be.
I'll live my life so that others can see,
That You are living in me.
To live all my days serving You.
Is my desire dear Lord.
To love You and know You fills me with joy,
Loving You is my reward.
Is my desire dear Lord.
To love You and know You fills me with joy,
Loving You is my reward.
3 comments:
This is very Sweet Kristi...Isn't it Wonderful our Heavenly is only a prayer away when we feel far from Him....I am praying for you.
Love Ya,
Aunt Lisa
a Precious post, Kristi.
Life ..it sure is a process and I am so thankful that the Lord is so patient with me.
I think of the words of the song" It will be worth it all when we see Jesus"
I was reading in Psalms 56 yesterday and it really spoke to me. Let me know what you think.
I have to tell myself over and over again, IT is not about ME, it is about HIM. I sometimes get the order wrong.
Romans 8:28
Deby
What an inspiring post, Kristi. I too, have been struggling with challanges and discouragment... but it's been almost more "bi-polar" like with very great days where things are wonderful, and very hard days where surviving is difficult. I suppose that's all normal with little ones and a hard pregnancy. But it's difficult, nonetheless. My migraines are becoming fewer though, which is a blessing. It just becomes hard, like you said, to not focus on the circumstances. But you're right, it is all a choice. Your post was encouraging, thank you.
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